merge code from xml-rpc trunk - fix xml-rpc not terminating on windows on fs unload - only effect windows build

Fix routing behavior of inbound calls from gateways that only match gateway based on the gw request uri param

we now honor the extension gateway param only if it is explicitly set, but will not route to the username param if extension is not set
also, new special value for extension "auto" that should use the request uri unless it has gw+ and then it will use the to uri